"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
