Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
