how can u be prego again
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
