Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
