i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
