My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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