I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
