I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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