Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
