Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
