I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
