just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
