Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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