I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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