Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
