You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's the barista slut.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
