i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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