I want to make a zoo with you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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