Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
