he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
