YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
