He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
