We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm really busy with my period
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