Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
