fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He kissed a someone with a penis
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
