I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
party gras won. party gras always wins.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
