just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
