I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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