Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I supernannyed him into submission
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
