you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
