I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize