She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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