Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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