You made me cry and you don't even care
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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