the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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