omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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