rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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