Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Panties = found
Randomize
