i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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