so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
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Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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