I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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