She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He passed out mid-signature
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
