He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
