Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
