It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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