Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
