i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
