tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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