I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
