i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
