oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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