bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
