Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
