u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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