I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
