i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
