I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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