I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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