your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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