Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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