It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
