hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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