Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize