But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
