its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
